Grossness!!!

So... here's the story...

I used to work at a nursing home where I took care of a certain person... we will call him Mr. Gray. (HIPPA crap, can't use their real name). I took care up him up until the day that he died, minus the few days that he spent in the hospital. So anyway, Mr. Gray has a son named Charles. Charles used to come in all of the time to check on and visit his dad, and of course I had to be nice to him and he really didn't bother me and after his dad passed I never saw him again.

I have been working with a Rheumatologist named Dr. Dick (yes, that's his real name) for a few months now and I really like it.... well, at least working with Dr. Dick, there is some stuff I don't like but that's irrelevant. Anyway, one day I was getting some patient stuff together and saw Charles there. He was there as a new patient to see one of the chiropractors and he recognized me. CRAP!! I was trying to keep a low profile. I don't really like anything that reminds me of that decrepit, piece of crap nusring home; it brings back bad memories. Ugh... So then he is referred over to our side to take care of some of his medical problems. The day we see him as a new patient he starts hitting on me like crazy. I ignore it because... I just do... he's old. He comes into see us... more often than really needed which makes it even more annoying. One day we he comes in with complaints of shoulder pain, so Dr. Dick gives him a shot in his shoulder to relieve bursitis. It is my responsibility to help hold the patient still and in position, so I hold his arm in the right position and Dr. Dick gives him the shot. After we are finished Charles started saying how much better his shoulder felt and that it was better because I touched it. *I just threw up a little in my mouth* Thus leading up to everyone in the office making fun of me... pure torture!

OK, the guy is nice , but he's extra fluffy, super hairy (except the GIANT bald spot on the top of his head), super greasy, old enough to be my father, has a son that is my age and it IS NOT gonna happen... EVER!!!

I had been trying to avoid him for a week or so when he came in one day to see the chiropractor and I was back in one of the offices doing paperwork and Vanessa (the receptionist) comes in with an envelope that had my name written on the front. Of course it was mispelled, no one knows how to spell my name right. I open it up and inside is a pink Post-it note with some scribbling on it that vaguely resembles words. I could only make out part of it and asked Vanessa to help translate the hieroglyphics. She couldn't read it either. The only part I could make out was "what about diner tonite?" his name and his phone number. Everything was mispelled. So I had all of the rest of the office see if they could decipher the symbols... it took the WHOLE office!

Yes, I took a picture of it! I had to send it to my friends from the nursing home that knew who he was! The invite took me by surprise and thoroughly replused me!

If it isn't bad enough that everytime he comes in (which was at least once a week... way too much) he makes it a point to hit on me in some form or fashion, today some of the girls in the office told him that I did massages! I do not do freaking massages!!! So he comes back in the room after we are done with him, and I'm putting the finishing touches on his chart, and says that the girls I work with told him that I do massages and asked if I woudl give him one! H-E-DOUBLE-HOCKEY-STICKS NO!!! I am a NURSE... not a freakin massage therapist! If I was, and it was for him, it would be super dooper expensive!!

Here is my schedule of fees:

1. Massage base charges: $100
2. Plus $200-300 for the excess body hair
3. Plus $400 for the grease (in various areas)
4. Plus $100 for the bald spot
5. Finally $500 for my pain and suffering!

And I would have to wear like 10 pairs of latex gloves to protect myself.

Those girls are going down!!!!! Freakin sickos!!!!